Liberated Christians
PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED FROM
ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND WE ARE SENT A
COPY OF PUBLICATION.
Good Sex Is Learned - Not Natural
While sex drive is natural, how we express our sexuality varies from instinctual mating
just to get off or have children, to expressing caring intimacy and loving sensuality with
our partners. Mating sex is natural. Caring, intimate sexuality is learned.
People view sexuality in different ways depending on their culture, personal attitudes and
expectations, which are often based on past experiences. Sadly, many are exposed to
negative sexual experience in childhood, which greatly inhibits positive, other-centered
sexual sharing. But we often become defensive and resistant to learning new sexual
attitudes.
The loving couple is willing to constantly learn and relearn about each other's sexual
pleasures by experimentation and sincerely wanting to sensually please the other. But few
couples take the time to have honest discussions about their sexuality. The result is
years of repeating a sexual routine which often becomes boring. Our sex drive is natural,
but we must learn as couples to keep it exciting, creative and fulfilling.
Problems in sex may turn into much broader relationship issues. The women with a low sex
desire may have to deal with a sexually deprived man or vice versa. One partner may harp
on the other for more sex and this drives them further apart. Often the partner with the
lower sex drive recognizes the problem but is unable to acknowledge or discuss it without
feeling inadequate. Sometimes just discussing honestly the problem can relieve a lot of
tension, bring them closer together emotionally, and start the process of resolution.
Sometimes self-pleasuring is one partial solution. Kinsey data (1990) reveals that 94% of
men and 70% of women admit they masturbate to orgasm. Another study shows that 66% of men
and 46% of women in their fifties masturbate on a regular basis.
Most married couples masturbate to lessen tension, to decrease sexual demands on a lower
sex desire partner and it can relieve sexual tension if one's partner is unavailable.
Masturbation can also give you a feeling of being in control of your own sexual
satisfaction without having to always rely on your partner.
Return To Section Contents Page
Back To Home Page
Copyright © 1998, Liberated Christians, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
E-MAIL: dave@davephx.com