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Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality



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Celibacy

The real issue about celibacy is respecting a persons choice. However, that choice should also be based on a factual understanding of the options.

For too many Celibacy is based on guilt founded in false religious teachings that were developed to control people such as with Catholics.

Clearly there is no biblical basis for celibacy whether married or single. And too often someone who seeks celibacy is hiding deeper fears of intimacy.

Celibacy is physically unnatural and can result in physical problems, especially in men unless they masturbate so the body is used as it was intended. Prostate blockage and painful wet dreams are often the bodies reaction to the unnatural act of celibacy. This is what I experienced as a teen and young adult, believing the lies of the fundamentalists that totally twisted the bible to make me feel sex was somehow wrong before marriage.

Likewise in women, there are healthy benefits of sexual release- physical  as well as emotional.

However, if someone for whatever reason, whether logical or not to others, chooses celibacy, that choice should be respected. But that person should know the disadvantages of their choice.

The idea of Catholic celibacy is especially foolish when you realize the reason behind it:
Before the middle ages it was allowable for Catholic priests to have multiple wives and mistresses (concubines). But with concerns for protecting Church property from inheritance Pope Pelagius I made new priests agree offspring could not inherit Church property. Pope Gregory then declared all sons of priests illegitimate (only sons since lowly daughters could not inherit anyway in society).

In 1022 Pope Benedict VIII banned marriages and concubines for priests and in 1139 Pope Innocent II voided all marriages of priests and all new priests had to divorce their wives. This had nothing to do with morality, multiple women for males had long been the norm since before biblical times, but it was about MONEY!

For many resources confirming this see: The History of Catholic Celibacy

 In biblical times many wives, concubines and breeders was common and never spoken against other than by Paul to the Elders of Timothy and Titus. In the Tanakh, Jewish priests suggest 4 wives was probably about the right number.

The whole celibacy nonsense was also the result of middle age Gnostic influences that false taught that the body was dirty and not spiritual and to be more spiritual you had to avoid natural sexuality. Talk about getting people really screwed up!


Celibacy May Be More A Disease Than A Blessing
Someone who wants to be celibate may be showing a deeper emotional issue that needs to be dealt with. Celibacy may be more of a disease than a blessing - we are not created to be celibate. Only someone quite immature would want to exclude one of the most powerful ways of sharing loving intimacy. If someone chooses celibacy it may be due to lack of self-esteem, performance anxiety, or religious false teachings based on shame based, sex negative tradition rather than true scriptural sexuality. Many women say the biggest mistake they made was not having much more sexual experience and variety before marriage.

A Student Priests View Of Celibacy & discussion with Dave on internet
Caroline House: "Personally, celibacy is not a choice I would have chosen in my youth but after talking to numerous members of every flavor from fundamentalists to Buddhists who have chosen it, I accept with wonder and appreciation the choice they have made.

Dave of Libchrist: "Celibacy may be more a disease than a blessing. Someone who wants to be celibate may be showing a deeper emotional issue that needs to be dealt with.

Dave Harman to Caroline House: "I agree with what you have written. But I also agree with Dave of Libchrist. That the monks...embraced celibacy 'for better or worse' does not obviate the fact that it is, in fact, unnatural, and move often than not betrays underlying problems and insecurities. As one who studied for the priesthood, and who - while pursuing those studies followed the celibate life, I can attest that to follow it requires an almost superhuman feat if denial and sacrifice. And, looking back to those priests who taught and guided us, I can remember that some - but not all - exhibited patterns and traits that would have made it difficult for them to live in secular society. Years later, when I and other classmates gather together, we talk if the issue of celibacy - remembering those who left the Order to find..hopefully..peace in the expression of that part of their nature they had suppressed. And we remember those who died silent and bitter. For myself, eventually not only the issue of celibacy but the whole fabric of dogma, sin and sacrifice seemed so unnecessary and untrue, that I left those studies."

Dave adds, I wonder why priests are four times more likely to have AIDS, than the general population and almost all based on homosexual sex. Perhaps many gays go into the priesthood, hoping it will "cure" their natural sexual orientation. But of course that is foolish and never works.

Another person's view on celibacy:

I agree with the unhealthy results of celibacy. I have several male friends that are Catholic and not married. A few of them have revealed how they are affected by long term abstinence after having a few drinks. One guy goes instantly into fondle and grope mode when he has had about 3 beers. He's been slapped and run out of places. Funny thing is, when he is sober, he preaches against casual sex out of wedlock. Another friend, 53 year old man, has broken down into tears after too many beers over not getting married or having any children. He to cowers to the will of what he has been taught.

I once tried to show these two men how they were innocently mislead away from understanding religions and how man has evolved the many different forms to where we are today. I never was dragged into a church by my parents and now I can view the human condition without prejudice. These two people will argue points they know are not supportable. The church and their parents taught them the ways and they are dearly afraid (programmed if you will) of what would come to them in the afterlife if they blaspheme.

Late Irish priest's wife Stirs storm over celibacy
Associated Press, Dublin, Ireland- To the world, the late Michael Cleary was an ebullient priest and a firm supporter of the church's teachings on birth control, divorce, abortion and priestly celibacy. However, to Phyllis Hamilton, Cleary was a lover, a husband, and the father of their two sons. In Ireland folks are increasingly questioning the 850-year-old rule on celibacy. "It is not humanly possible to remain celibate. Even animals don't do it," said Rosemary Scott, a friend of the late Michael Cleary.


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