PO Box 55045, Phoenix AZ 85078-5045
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Divorce & Paul On Sexual Matters
- by Dave
Why is it so many Christians just seem to have to find "rules" for everything?
Christ clearly replaced all the rules in the Sermon On the Mount with only the
rule of love. Keep reading after he says he came to fulfill not to destroy the laws
and the prophets, but then reversed six of the laws, when they weren't based on
In biblical times divorce was not allowable (for a woman) unless the man gave her
a writ of divorcement. Even today the Israel Courts have problems with this and
cases are raised trying to force the woman's owner (her husband) to agree to a writ
of divorce if he does not do so voluntarily.
Regarding divorce, why do we still try and apply to modern culture biblical views
which have absolutely no relevance today?
Today the questions is does the women still really love the man, or has the relationship
grown emotionally, spiritually or physical unfulfilling, despite their best intentions
probably many years ago when they were married.
The vows of marriage should not result in biblical bondage for life, since personalities
and desires change. Of course you should attempt seriously to work out problems,
but the best solution may be to become re-singled.
Being free to find fulfillment outside a destructive relationships should be praised
not ridiculed for the sake of the vows. The women is no longer the property of the
man and should empower herself to life live to its fullest free to seek maximum
love, pleasure fulfillment between two people rather living in bondage. Often divorce
can be very positive. The traditional biblical teachings have no relevance for today's
culture and the freedom of women to empower themselves.
In biblical times the women was the property of her husband, who could freely give
her a writ of divorcement at any time. Of course the women could never divorce the
man, since she was his property.
A man could have as many wives and concubines as he wished and these relationships
were never questioned except Paul s suggestion of elders only having one wife in
only two early Churches. He does not include this direction for other Churches
and its only for elders. Greek is one of those languages (unlike English)
where "a" and "one" share the same word. Thus, while "man of one wife" is ONE
possible translation, "man of a wife" - or "married man" may be another, and
seems more sensible. It seems more sensible because an elder should be someone
with experience in relationships.
In biblical times most were married by 14 and died at 30. Love had nothing to do
with marriage. A man s social and economic prestige was tied to the number of wives
and children he had as well as the number of his herds, servants etc. Because both
children and wives worked in his fields or helped with the household, they were
closely tied to his economic prosperity and reputation.
The husband took a mans daughter as his wife after a suitable financial agreement
was made with her father (the marriage price). If the man also liked another daughter,
he might return to negotiate for her as another wife - with the father - the women
had no say.
Today Christian women and men often act as if they are still in this cultural bondage.
Today relationships and marriage are built on love not property rights. People change
over time and sometimes one of the partners grows more than the other or feelings
change over time that make marriage a "living hell" not the loving union
that was originally intended. People change over time and being locked into an
unloving union may be far less what Christ would want than agreeing you are no longer
compatible and best for each other and becoming resingled.
Just as many marry for the wrong reasons (often to supposedly legitimize sex), many
stay married for the wrong reasons. By becoming resingled you may be released to
be the wonderfully loving person you are with women more compatible than present
wife. Christ's teaching of love, may dictate its much more Christian to move on
then have your love trampled by incompatibilities in the marriage. Likewise you
would want your spouse to find more love again with someone else.
Paul On Sexual Matters
Paul was a poor authority when it came to matters of sex. He remained single all
his life and wished that all men were as he. He saw marriage as a last resort for
those who couldn't control their sexual desires. Said Paul, "it is better to
marry than to burn" (I Cor. 7:8-9). He thought marriage was good for younger
widows to keep them from growing idle and becoming "gossips and busybodies"
(I Tim.5:13). Although Paul was a devout follower of Christ who communed intimately
with the Lord, it is fair to say that he didn't fully appreciate the love which
God created to be shared between two people."
Much of Paul's teachings about women reflected the cultural of his time. The Church
teaches Paul's sexual prohibitions yet ignore many other of Paul's teachings such
as that women should be silent and keep their heads covered in Church. This was
for specific cultural reasons. We also must remember that in Biblical times, there
was no birth control. Children were the natural result of sex, which was not desirable
outside a stable family.
Return To Section Contents Page
Back To Home Page
Copyright © 1997, Liberated Christians, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.