PO Box 55045, Phoenix AZ 85078-5045
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED
FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND
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"Standing Up And Walking Tall":
A Manifesto of Self-Esteem for Christian Polys
More and more I am becoming convinced that we Christian poly types need to stop
thinking of ourselves as kind of "weird" and begin to accept the idea
that we may be more "normal" than the folk, even our fellow Christians,
who oppose our lifestyle choices. We need to understand that what we want is simply
to "love more" and that loving more than one person in an intimate way
is simply another step of growing and maturing in Christian love.
One of the things that has drawn me to this point of view is the great fellowship
I have enjoyed recently with a number of committed Christians around the country
who have expressed to me their great need to be supported and encouraged and to
grow spiritually with other Christians in poly lifestyles.
We need to realize that this idea of sexual and emotional connecting on a higher
level opens to us an untapped area of CHRISTIAN SPIRITUALITY that WE represent and
through which we could make major contributions to the spiritual health of the Kingdom
Up to now Christians in poly lifestyles, primarily "swinging," have kept
themselves hidden even from each other, have been very uncertain as to the spirituality
of what they are doing and thus have had no vision for what could be done in using
our way of loving to communicate GOD'S love to others. IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE IN
THIS STATE OF AFFAIRS.
What Are The Goals And Purposes of These Groups?
It is our hope that we can develop clearer and more lasting goals for these groups
than we have thus far in Phoenix. We hope that the experience we have had in Phoenix,
including our mistakes, plus new input from various sources, will help us design
groups that will help people more clearly determine their place in poly relationships
and help them build longer-lasting friendships as they explore this lifestyle.
At the present we are using the materials on poly relationships written by Ryam
Nearing of "Loving More," probing the experience of other poly groups
and utilizing the expertise of a lifestyle-friendly Christian psychologist to design
Of course, these groups will include presentations and discussions similar to what
we are doing in Phoenix. Some of these are: "loving intimacy" that is
different from just "having sex," the role of nudity and massage in breaking
barriers to intimacy, biblical/Christian issues in poly relationships and various
thoughts on adult sex education (G-spot stimulation, male impotence, etc.)
We also want to present the various options in multiple relationships, from more
casual "swinging" all the way to permanent expanded polyfidelity family
units. We will present guidelines to help people decide whether poly lifestyles
are right for them and which of many options it would be best for them to explore.
We want these groups to be environments where people can meet others with similar
interests, life goals and spiritual values. We hope that these groups will also
be places where actual loving intimacy can take place in a safe setting.
These groups should be places where Christians can explore intimacy
in terms of a range of social, spiritual, emotional and sexual relationships.
We will discuss problem areas in poly relationships, such as jealousy, and tackle
issues related to long- term commitments to multiple partners.
We will structure communication sessions to help people discuss both problems and
positive growth opportunities with their primary partners and with others in the
Where Do YOU Fit In?
We are looking for couples and single women residing in SOUTHERN
CALIFORNIA and in the Eastern corridor bounded roughly on the north by NEW YORK
CITY and on the south by WASHINGTON, DC.
We would also like to hear from sincere single men in these areas, BUT SEE THE IMPORTANT
NOTE BELOW REGARDING SINGLE MEN.
We believe that the geographical areas mentioned above are the most logical for
these groups based on our present contacts with interested people. If you live anywhere
near those regions, but not actually in them, you are very welcome to attend our
first gathering, also, although we realize that continued participation might be
difficult because of distance.
If a group like those I've described sounds like something you would like to explore,
we'd like to hear from you. Since I (Bill) am spearheading the planning of these
groups, please write me at the Liberated Christians snail mail address or E-mail
me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. If you respond
by E-mail, please indicate both your STATE and CITY of residence.
We already have a number of interested people for each of these groups. We need
to know who else would like to give this a try and where they are located geographically.
After we receive a number of responses, we will be able to plan dates and locations
for our first gatherings.
What Is The Future Of These Groups?
The first gathering of these groups will be led either by Bill or
Bill and Dave, with various kinds of assistance from others who may be interested
in providing ongoing leadership. The future of the groups will depend on the interest
and commitment of those attending, based on their response to the goals and purposes
of the groups as initially presented.
Leadership will have to arise from within these groups in order for them to last.
Commitment to the groups will have to develop, also. The goals and purposes of the
groups may evolve and change depending on the perspectives of those who lead and
participate after Bill and Dave withdraw from the initial formation process. If
desired by the groups, Bill or Dave may be able to meet with the groups, lead workshops
or provide leadership counsel from time to time.
What About Single Men?
Some poly social groups have succeeded in integrating a limited number of single
men into their ongoing activities by working carefully to maintain a gender balance
with single women. Bill is currently researching the method used by one of these
groups to accomplish this integration.
If a workable method can be found to integrate single men into the groups, this
issue will then be discussed with the groups for their input and decision making.
No step of this sort would be taken by leadership without the consent of the group.
In order to research this issue and to provide a sense of security for couples and
single women, at this time we are not planning to invite single men to the initial
gathering of either of these groups. (Sorry guys, we know there are many of you
out there who are quality people and committed Christians and who have needs to
be met just like couples and women. We also know you have much to give. We don't
want you to feel rejected and if a way can be found to meet your needs in these
groups, we will not hesitate to explore it.)
We and others we have contacted are excited about the prospects of these groups.
It is our sincere desire to make available to as many people as possible the means
to develop their interests in multiple relationships. We believe that the potential
for such relationships to revolutionize our Christian fellowship and personal spiritual
growth is unlimited.
To those of you not located in the areas we have described, perhaps in time a group
can be organized which will include you. Meantime, if you are interested in such
a group, let us know. You may be the spark that will ignite the flame!
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