Communications Differences Between Men & Women

Liberated Christians
PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045

Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality

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Communications Differences Between Men & Women
Honey, did you come?
Do I have to ask if I want sex?
I have a headache (and will for 10 years).
Just because you couldn't get sex from me was no reason to cheat.
I want sex more often.
I want sex less often.
My boyfriend is lousy in bed, but I'm not saying anything.

Men and women have different communications styles and attitudes. The result is often that neither partner tells the other their true feelings and then they complain because they don't know, and expect the other to understand what they did not say.

Men tend to deal with problems in a logical manner but may not be very good at communication with their partner. Some women want to infer or hint rather than come out and say it like it is. Women, demanding sexual satisfaction, which they often don't get from some men, either are learning to be more outspoken or they hide their true feelings. For example, a woman may complain about her feet hurting after a hard day at work. What she really wants is for her partner to console her, tell her he sympathizes with her problem, and tell her he loves her. But his reaction is to "fix" the problem. "Why don't you get a larger pair of shoes, then?" The woman may reply, "Oh, so my feet are too fat, is that it?" At this point he is dead meat. If he tries to explain away his statement, she may misunderstand and complain that he thinks she's fat. If he simply chooses to dismiss the comment, she may then complain that he wants her to suffer from sore feet.

This simply shows the differences between how some men and women think. Women tend to think in terms of emotions and feelings. Men tend to think in terms of logic and reason. We are so used to this that if someone switches roles it can also be a problem. A man who breaks out into tears is very confusing or is taken as a "wimp". A woman who becomes logical and analytic in her dealings may be seen as "cold," "hard," or "a bitch".

Because we expect these roles, we play them, we don't even realize we're playing them, and we consciously don't understand them, because they've been part of us for so long, we aren't seeing them directly. (Based on an internet post by Paul Robinson)

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