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Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
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Personal Reflections of Dave From Family Synergy
At Annual Family Synergy Conference Where Dave Was A Speaker
I'd like to share a personal experience at Family Synergy which helped encourage
us to propose the new Love Group for couples that want to go further with sexuality.
We plan to keep the Fellowship Group safe for hesitant couples and not have explicit
sexuality except in the separate Love Group..
First let me set the stage of my Family Synergy Experience. I started talking with
the only couple that I noticed wasn't nude. It turned out this was their first
experience with Family Synergy or, apparently, group nudity. She said they were
friends of some of the leaders. Little did I know at the time how friendly! We
talked. Her partner was also very friendly and we seemed to hit it off very well.
Turns out he was the bondage person who led the demonstration. He had been reluctant
to demo for groups but was encouraged since it was so well received. She loved
it but was too shy to be his demo partner in front of the group. Later in the day,
he came up to me and invited me to join them and a few friends later that night.
I went to the room and they welcomed me. It was just the 2 of them. She got naked
and wanted to be tied up ..ok....I did all the stuff I preach about, asked her if
she felt comfortable with me just stroking her (yes), asked him if he was OK with
it (yes).... From the Stan Dale Workshops I'm very used to working with another
man on a woman, especially in nonsexual stroking. It was neat, as I'd sort of let
him lead and I'd mirror on other side of her body. It was great and she enjoyed
it. I do need more experience with women with nipple rings! I need a lesson in nipple
sucking with rings....the metal gets in the way...but I tried to mirror what he
THEN.....after awhile, he announced he would spend some time in the hot tub, leaving
me with her. (Remember, all I knew was that she was quite shy and new to the group.)
But I slowly became more non-sexually intimate, which she seemed to enjoy more
and more. Then after about 30 minutes came a knock on door.....quietly about 10
people joined us, including her partner. They were quiet, respectfully climbed
over our bodies on the floor and everyone got together with different partners.
For the next 3 hours the room was full of the sounds of vibrators, heavy breathing
and wonderful orgasmic vocalizations from all the women who were very much enjoying
all the men who switched frequently between partners.
Back to me on the floor: here was what I consider the most meaningful experiences
with "Kathy" (not her real name to protect her privacy). For the entire
3 hours she seemed to be emotionally and intimately centered with me, holding,
kissing the way I like (lightly, lovingly, not suck-the-tongue-out-of-mouth type).
She didn't seem to want to let go of me....or my penis in her hand (which I enjoyed).
She was tilted towards me and other men were having sex with her. I really enjoyed
feeling her sexual pleasure just by holding her and being with her intimately while
others were giving her sexual pleasure. I felt privileged to share that with her
and enjoyed that more than if I just had sex with her. The group situation with
everyone comfortable with everyone else (I was the only stranger) was really neat
even though for most men it was just raw sex without as much intimacy as I like.
But I realize I sometimes get too hung up on intimacy vs. just enjoying sex.
Another neat experience was the woman who snuggled up sort of on my backside (lets
call her "Lois"). Lois happened to have attended our Lifestyles 94 presentation
and had introduced herself to me earlier. Even though I was centered intimately
with "Kathy", and she with various partners, "Lois" and I were
also frequently "in touch" with each other. When my left hand was free
from stroking Kathy's breasts I'd wind up holding hands on the side with Lois and
she'd often be stroking my leg with her free hand etc. It was really nice.
Implications For Fellowship Group
In the Fellowship group many couples are still in the process of breaking some barriers
to be comfortable with nudity or intimacy and especially any sexuality with anyone
other than their partner. We have decided to keep the Fellowship Group safe for
these couples and there will never be any pressure for any sexuality. However,
other couples are anxious to put into practice the loving intimacy we have been
discussing along with more sexuality with other partners. Also we maybe losing
some couples that are tired of the soft core intimacy and want more sexuality.
It is interesting that some of the couples, who seem the most shy in the group are
"the life of the party" at Sociables (local swing club).
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