Liberated Christians
PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045

Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality



COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND WE ARE SENT A COPY OF PUBLICATION.


Loving Physical Intimacy - A Rewarding Experience For Many

Reaching Out In Love
Our basic premise is that we can lead fuller, more rewarding lives, achieving more of our potential and reach out in love to others by increased awareness of our freedom of choice concerning interpersonal relationships.
Many people enjoy sharing the need and desire to be lovingly touched, stroked and cuddled by a variety of partners of the opposite sex. Even if no sexual activity is desired, most people who are honest admit this desire. But society frowns on such touch since it is often viewed only as a prelude to sex. There is nothing wrong with sex, and sex can be a wonderful further sharing of intimacy, but touch can also be enjoyed for its own sake.

Too often many (women in particular) settle for only sex, when what is really desired is just to be touched, held and tenderly stroked by others in a safe and comfortable environment. Many couples enjoy sharing such experiences with other couples and enjoy a variety of love in their interaction - yet without jealously since they are centered emotionally in their primary relationship.

Let Me Love You With My Spirit
I look into your eyes, I hold your hands, I respect your spirit, I respect you as another human traveler in life with the same feelings, emotions, desire for affection and love. Your body enjoys touching and excitement from perhaps a variety of caring, loving persons.

I gently stroke your face, both of us enjoying tender, caring and loving touch. My spirit reaches out and wants to interact with your spirit in love as two people created by God in His image and with the ability to sensually love.

I respect you as a person, only wanting to touch in a way that is comfortable, uplifting and enjoyable for you - seeking your maximum emotional and physical pleasure. My spirit connects in love with yours; my body gently warms yours and you enjoy warming mine. We share a beautiful experience in sincere love, but with no desire to take anything away from your primary partner, but only to expand your capacity to enjoy loving touch, sensuality and possibly different levels of sexuality, depending on your comfort and desires.

No Threat To Your Primary Partner
Your primary partner rejoices that you find loving variety with others and knows there is no reason to be jealous. You also want your partner to experience this intimacy with others who are like- minded, loving spirits.

Perhaps a friendship will develop over the long-term in which you and your partner share not just sexually but emotionally with others, sharing life's good and tough times with those who care for you as you care for them. You can be hugged, caressed and sexually fulfilled by each other, of course, but also by other loving friends. As primary partners you talk about these experiences with each other, sharing your feelings and emotions with each other openly and honestly, which brings the two of you even closer together.

Just like we can have enduring love for more than one of our children, we can also experience both emotional and sexual love for more than one person, sharing the beauty of sensuality and sexuality. This is one of the most powerful expressions of love that God has designed us to enjoy. We can use it as a positive, life-enhancing force, our spirits reaching out and sharing sincere love with others.

A man of insight wrote the following about marriage and openness in sexual relationships:

"A permanent marriage between one man and one woman can work very beautifully if possessiveness and jealousy are left out of it. If you say to your partner, 'You are mine and therefore you would better not enjoy the appearance nor the company of any other partner,' you are condemning the relationship to unhappiness. You are forcing yourself and your partner to live the monogamous lifestyle, which is not natural for humans.

True love says, 'I want you to be happy and to get all of the joy out of life that you can. Friendship and love for other people is the basis of joy in life. I love you but I don't own you and you don't own me. I can enjoy the beauty of others and I can have friendship and love for others and you can too. If I enjoy activities, even sexual activities, with others for whom I feel affection, it takes nothing away from you because I will keep right on loving you just the same. And I feel no jealously for others toward whom you feel affection.'" (From "Sex is Natural," by Bob Truett, in "Clothed With The Sun," p.31, date and issue uncertain.)

Touch - Often A Touchy Subject
As a high-touch man, I have to be very sensitive to the fact that while most women very much like my touch, I must not be too aggressive in touching without permission. Many women have been abused by men in different ways and any touch, no matter how lovingly intended, may be offensive. Most people seek more loving touch in their lives, but are afraid of it or need to be sexual as an excuse for touch. Most men want more touch by women. But many women need to first feel very comfortable and trust the man before allowing him to touch her.

The following article is reprinted with permission from Family Synergy Newsletter, Feb. 95 issue. I believe the article is meaningful as well as humorous. By publishing it we are not in any way suggesting that unrequested genital touch is appropriate from either sex. But....it shows a basic truth about the different attitudes about touch between men and women in our culture:

Dear Newsletter Editor,
I have often heard Synergy women complain that some men in Jacuzzis offend them by taking certain liberties, to wit, by touching their primary or secondary sexual parts without permission. In the spirit of the Golden Rule I wondered "How would men like women to do the same to them?" I decided to find out through the conduct of a personal survey.

The methodology of my survey was as follows: I would select an unsuspecting male sitting in a hot tub or Jacuzzi and sit close to him on his left side. I would then suddenly and without warning reach my right hand out and firmly grasp his penis and/or testicles (not too firmly, however, mind you). I would look into his eyes and say, "Sir, I have just grasped your genitals without a by-your-leave. I am conducting a survey. How do you feel about my touching your genitals without your permission?" I am obligated to report that all my subjects did not make a verbal response. Some simply rolled their eyes skyward and their faces looked blissful. Others just broke out into broad grins. Some unfortunately treated my survey with unseemly levity and made such responses as "Just leave your hand there and I will think about it." or "Madame, I'll give you two hours to take your hand off my genitals." I am glad to say that at least some of my subjects took my survey seriously and made responses as "I like it". or "It feels good." or "Do it some more." I should also report that some subjects, for reasons best known to themselves, subsequently asked to be resurveyed. Indeed, one subject was so cooperative that he volunteered four times. (I concede that the validity of the subsequent surveys is questionable, since it could be argued that implied permission had crept into the picture.)

My survey involved approximately twenty subjects. (I must rely on memory, since I did not find it convenient to make notes in the Jacuzzi.) I did touch a 21st man, but I disqualified him because he is my husband and I consider that I have blanket permission to touch his genitals. I must report that, of all the qualified subjects, not a single one complained about my invasion of his space or took me to task for sexual impropriety. (In the spirit of full reporting, I have to say that the one disqualified man did on one occasion object to my touch. It was at a "non-permissive" event and he felt that I was breaking the rules. Whether he would have made the same response if touched by another female is not clear.)

Having made this (more or less, I will let you judge) scientific inquiry, I leave to others the drawing of any general conclusions the facts call for. I would suggest, however, consideration of at least the following questions: Why do men react so differently from women? Are men too unaware to know when their personal space has been violated? Are male genitalia more welcoming of touch from the opposite sex than female parts?

To avoid requests for additional surveying, I shall sign myself simply.....Your sensuous surveyor.
_______________________________________
No such surveys will be taken at Liberated Christians! We acknowledge the power of caring touch but also the responsibility for asking for permission and the right of choice in accepting or rejecting for both men and women.

Intimacy/Touch Group Ideas Explore - Share - Experience
With NO pressure, but based on YOUR comfort level - Honest Communications -More Love - More Intimacy - More Meaningful Sexuality

Purpose Of An Intimacy Group
To discuss, share and experience intimacy with those with whom you develop trust in a safe, nurturing "room of love."

To provide a caring and supportive environment in which you can learn how to expand your capacity for true love and release your fears surrounding intimacy and sexuality. While we have no affiliation with HAI, many of our ideas are the result of the Human Awareness Institute's "Sex, Love & Intimacy Workshops." Founder Stan Dale is very supportive of us and our utilizing of their techniques and the 27 years of experience that has empowered over 40,000 people to:

Create more loving, intimate and healthy relationships; develop greater confidence and self-esteem; be more comfortable and at ease with yourself and others; learn gentler, more loving and open communications skills; be less concerned with the approval and opinions of others; be more comfortable and accepting of your body and your sexuality; learn to connect with others more freely and openly; meet new people who are involved in personal growth and have more fun and meaningful extended family-type intimate friendships.

Perhaps you had a bad week and just want to be tenderly loved by group touch. Maybe you want to explode in sexual ecstasy on a Sybian machine. Maybe you want to discuss jealousy issues you have with your partner. Maybe you want to give or receive an Esalen massage. Maybe you want to share your joys of the week or discuss a spiritual issue or biblical interpretation regarding love and sex. Maybe


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