PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED
FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND
WE ARE SENT A COPY OF PUBLICATION.
Loving Physical Intimacy - A Rewarding Experience
Reaching Out In Love
Our basic premise is that we can lead fuller, more rewarding lives, achieving more
of our potential and reach out in love to others by increased awareness of our freedom
of choice concerning interpersonal relationships.
Many people enjoy sharing the need and desire to be lovingly touched, stroked and
cuddled by a variety of partners of the opposite sex. Even if no sexual activity
is desired, most people who are honest admit this desire. But society frowns on
such touch since it is often viewed only as a prelude to sex. There is nothing wrong
with sex, and sex can be a wonderful further sharing of intimacy, but touch can
also be enjoyed for its own sake.
Too often many (women in particular) settle for only sex, when what is really desired
is just to be touched, held and tenderly stroked by others in a safe and comfortable
environment. Many couples enjoy sharing such experiences with other couples and
enjoy a variety of love in their interaction - yet without jealously since they
are centered emotionally in their primary relationship.
Let Me Love You With My Spirit
I look into your eyes, I hold your hands, I respect your spirit, I respect you as
another human traveler in life with the same feelings, emotions, desire for affection
and love. Your body enjoys touching and excitement from perhaps a variety of caring,
I gently stroke your face, both of us enjoying tender, caring and loving touch.
My spirit reaches out and wants to interact with your spirit in love as two people
created by God in His image and with the ability to sensually love.
I respect you as a person, only wanting to touch in a way that is comfortable, uplifting
and enjoyable for you - seeking your maximum emotional and physical pleasure. My
spirit connects in love with yours; my body gently warms yours and you enjoy warming
mine. We share a beautiful experience in sincere love, but with no desire to take
anything away from your primary partner, but only to expand your capacity to enjoy
loving touch, sensuality and possibly different levels of sexuality, depending on
your comfort and desires.
No Threat To Your Primary Partner
Your primary partner rejoices that you find loving variety with others and knows
there is no reason to be jealous. You also want your partner to experience this
intimacy with others who are like- minded, loving spirits.
Perhaps a friendship will develop over the long-term in which you and your partner
share not just sexually but emotionally with others, sharing life's good and tough
times with those who care for you as you care for them. You can be hugged, caressed
and sexually fulfilled by each other, of course, but also by other loving friends.
As primary partners you talk about these experiences with each other, sharing your
feelings and emotions with each other openly and honestly, which brings the two
of you even closer together.
Just like we can have enduring love for more than one of our children, we can also
experience both emotional and sexual love for more than one person, sharing the
beauty of sensuality and sexuality. This is one of the most powerful expressions
of love that God has designed us to enjoy. We can use it as a positive, life-enhancing
force, our spirits reaching out and sharing sincere love with others.
A man of insight wrote the following about marriage and openness in sexual relationships:
"A permanent marriage between one man and one woman can work very beautifully
if possessiveness and jealousy are left out of it. If you say to your partner, 'You
are mine and therefore you would better not enjoy the appearance nor the company
of any other partner,' you are condemning the relationship to unhappiness. You are
forcing yourself and your partner to live the monogamous lifestyle, which is not
natural for humans.
True love says, 'I want you to be happy and to get all of the joy out of life that
you can. Friendship and love for other people is the basis of joy in life. I love
you but I don't own you and you don't own me. I can enjoy the beauty of others and
I can have friendship and love for others and you can too. If I enjoy activities,
even sexual activities, with others for whom I feel affection, it takes nothing
away from you because I will keep right on loving you just the same. And I feel
no jealously for others toward whom you feel affection.'" (From "Sex is
Natural," by Bob Truett, in "Clothed With The Sun," p.31, date and
Touch - Often A Touchy Subject
As a high-touch man, I have to be very sensitive to the fact that while most women
very much like my touch, I must not be too aggressive in touching without permission.
Many women have been abused by men in different ways and any touch, no matter how
lovingly intended, may be offensive. Most people seek more loving touch in their
lives, but are afraid of it or need to be sexual as an excuse for touch. Most men
want more touch by women. But many women need to first feel very comfortable and
trust the man before allowing him to touch her.
The following article is reprinted with permission from Family
Synergy Newsletter, Feb. 95 issue. I believe the article is meaningful as
well as humorous. By publishing it we are not in any way suggesting that unrequested
genital touch is appropriate from either sex. But....it shows a basic truth about
the different attitudes about touch between men and women in our culture:
Dear Newsletter Editor,
I have often heard Synergy women complain that some men in Jacuzzis offend them
by taking certain liberties, to wit, by touching their primary or secondary sexual
parts without permission. In the spirit of the Golden Rule I wondered "How
would men like women to do the same to them?" I decided to find out through
the conduct of a personal survey.
The methodology of my survey was as follows: I would select an unsuspecting male
sitting in a hot tub or Jacuzzi and sit close to him on his left side. I would then
suddenly and without warning reach my right hand out and firmly grasp his penis
and/or testicles (not too firmly, however, mind you). I would look into his eyes
and say, "Sir, I have just grasped your genitals without a by-your-leave. I
am conducting a survey. How do you feel about my touching your genitals without
your permission?" I am obligated to report that all my subjects did not make
a verbal response. Some simply rolled their eyes skyward and their faces looked
blissful. Others just broke out into broad grins. Some unfortunately treated my
survey with unseemly levity and made such responses as "Just leave your hand
there and I will think about it." or "Madame, I'll give you two hours
to take your hand off my genitals." I am glad to say that at least some of
my subjects took my survey seriously and made responses as "I like it".
or "It feels good." or "Do it some more." I should also report
that some subjects, for reasons best known to themselves, subsequently asked to
be resurveyed. Indeed, one subject was so cooperative that he volunteered four times.
(I concede that the validity of the subsequent surveys is questionable, since it
could be argued that implied permission had crept into the picture.)
My survey involved approximately twenty subjects. (I must rely on memory, since
I did not find it convenient to make notes in the Jacuzzi.) I did touch a 21st man,
but I disqualified him because he is my husband and I consider that I have blanket
permission to touch his genitals. I must report that, of all the qualified subjects,
not a single one complained about my invasion of his space or took me to task for
sexual impropriety. (In the spirit of full reporting, I have to say that the one
disqualified man did on one occasion object to my touch. It was at a "non-permissive"
event and he felt that I was breaking the rules. Whether he would have made the
same response if touched by another female is not clear.)
Having made this (more or less, I will let you judge) scientific inquiry, I leave
to others the drawing of any general conclusions the facts call for. I would suggest,
however, consideration of at least the following questions: Why do men react so
differently from women? Are men too unaware to know when their personal space has
been violated? Are male genitalia more welcoming of touch from the opposite sex
than female parts?
To avoid requests for additional surveying, I shall sign myself simply.....Your
No such surveys will be taken at Liberated Christians! We acknowledge the power
of caring touch but also the responsibility for asking for permission and the right
of choice in accepting or rejecting for both men and women.
Intimacy/Touch Group Ideas Explore - Share
With NO pressure, but based on YOUR comfort level - Honest Communications -More
Love - More Intimacy - More Meaningful Sexuality
Purpose Of An Intimacy Group
To discuss, share and experience intimacy with those with whom you develop trust
in a safe, nurturing "room of love."
To provide a caring and supportive environment in which you can learn how to expand
your capacity for true love and release your fears surrounding intimacy and sexuality.
While we have no affiliation with HAI, many of our ideas are the result of the Human
Awareness Institute's "Sex, Love & Intimacy Workshops." Founder Stan
Dale is very supportive of us and our utilizing of their techniques and the 27 years
of experience that has empowered over 40,000 people to:
Create more loving, intimate and healthy relationships; develop greater confidence
and self-esteem; be more comfortable and at ease with yourself and others; learn
gentler, more loving and open communications skills; be less concerned with the
approval and opinions of others; be more comfortable and accepting of your body
and your sexuality; learn to connect with others more freely and openly; meet new
people who are involved in personal growth and have more fun and meaningful extended
family-type intimate friendships.
Perhaps you had a bad week and just want to be tenderly loved by group touch. Maybe
you want to explode in sexual ecstasy on a Sybian machine. Maybe you want to discuss
jealousy issues you have with your partner. Maybe you want to give or receive an
Esalen massage. Maybe you want to share your joys of the week or discuss a spiritual
issue or biblical interpretation regarding love and sex. Maybe
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