PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED
FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND
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MONOGAMY - a valid choice but the problem is that it
often doesn't work. Over 50% of the time it becomes serial monogamy with different
relations, different marriages over time. Monogamy is what society teaches is "right"
and those disagreeing tend to hide. Studies show 70% of all marriages involve "cheating".
See Time magazine "Infidelity - It may be on our genes" 8/15/94 issue
for extensive study showing how more than one sexual partner is historically more
natural than monogamy. This is perhaps the biggest (unkept?) secret in our culture
and within the Church. Monogamy should be based on a couples' CHOICE, not because
they think its the only legitimate option.
SINGLES INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS - Singles who want to
remain more independent or who have not yet found anyone they want to be in a "couple"
relationship with. Primary "couple" type relationship means someone you
live with daily and share finances. Many couples choose to remain unmarried seeing
marriage as artificial. A couple may feel they want to be with each other permanently
because they love each other, not because they have a legal document saying they
SWINGING - open couples relationships. Swinging is an
example in which you share sexually with others as a couple where you still have
one primarily relationship. Avoids the cheating that often occurs in monogamy and
encourages open communications. Many couples find their prime relationships enhanced
by the honest sharing of variety and being open with their partners, enjoying hearing
about each other's feelings and experiences with other intimate partners. Our problem
with stereotypical swinging is that it is often about brief sexual thrusting for
pure pleasure with a large number of partners. Our goal is to bring more loving
intimacy to swinging based on honest communications and building long term extended
family types of relationships.
POLYAMORY - is the broader expression of that natural
desire for variety in our loving intimacy -as opposed to stereotypical "swinging",
which is typically brief sexual interactions (rather than relationships) with different
couples, "poly" is typically considered to mean multiple simultaneous
relationships which include loving, caring intimacy (including emotions and intellectual
attraction) which have the potential to be long-term "extended family"
type relationships. These relationships my also include those with different sexual
orientations or may not. The poly relationships may be either "open" such
is typical in swinging, or "closed", which is polyfidelity. Stereotypical
swingers are most concerned with what is between the legs while "poly"
styles of love are often more concerned about what is between the ears.
POLYFIDELITY - Within polyamory a subgroup is polyfidelity
which describes more or less a closed group of people. This can take the form of
a group marriage or extended family where you have several relationships which may
be couples of may include various combinations of males and females.. Some prefer
this situation since they want the team structure, a group to come home to at night
but not an exclusive relationship. It best shows the loyalty to shared values and
commitment to each other's spirits rather than the ego of self-centered jealousy
and ownership of a typical monogamous relationship. "Intentional" extended
families, beyond just blood relatives, are created by choice. Connectedness to others
by choice may result in more fulfillment than just being born into a family which
may have very different emotions and values.
All of these types of relationships work well for different people. Your desired
relationship structure may change over time based on your own emotional needs or
your connection with others or finding a group you desire.
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