Liberated Christians
PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045

Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality



COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND WE ARE SENT A COPY OF PUBLICATION.


Lovestyle Options

MONOGAMY - a valid choice but the problem is that it often doesn't work. Over 50% of the time it becomes serial monogamy with different relations, different marriages over time. Monogamy is what society teaches is "right" and those disagreeing tend to hide. Studies show 70% of all marriages involve "cheating". See Time magazine "Infidelity - It may be on our genes" 8/15/94 issue for extensive study showing how more than one sexual partner is historically more natural than monogamy. This is perhaps the biggest (unkept?) secret in our culture and within the Church. Monogamy should be based on a couples' CHOICE, not because they think its the only legitimate option.

SINGLES INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS - Singles who want to remain more independent or who have not yet found anyone they want to be in a "couple" relationship with. Primary "couple" type relationship means someone you live with daily and share finances. Many couples choose to remain unmarried seeing marriage as artificial. A couple may feel they want to be with each other permanently because they love each other, not because they have a legal document saying they are married.

SWINGING - open couples relationships. Swinging is an example in which you share sexually with others as a couple where you still have one primarily relationship. Avoids the cheating that often occurs in monogamy and encourages open communications. Many couples find their prime relationships enhanced by the honest sharing of variety and being open with their partners, enjoying hearing about each other's feelings and experiences with other intimate partners. Our problem with stereotypical swinging is that it is often about brief sexual thrusting for pure pleasure with a large number of partners. Our goal is to bring more loving intimacy to swinging based on honest communications and building long term extended family types of relationships.

POLYAMORY - is the broader expression of that natural desire for variety in our loving intimacy -as opposed to stereotypical "swinging", which is typically brief sexual interactions (rather than relationships) with different couples, "poly" is typically considered to mean multiple simultaneous relationships which include loving, caring intimacy (including emotions and intellectual attraction) which have the potential to be long-term "extended family" type relationships. These relationships my also include those with different sexual orientations or may not. The poly relationships may be either "open" such is typical in swinging, or "closed", which is polyfidelity. Stereotypical swingers are most concerned with what is between the legs while "poly" styles of love are often more concerned about what is between the ears.

POLYFIDELITY - Within polyamory a subgroup is polyfidelity which describes more or less a closed group of people. This can take the form of a group marriage or extended family where you have several relationships which may be couples of may include various combinations of males and females.. Some prefer this situation since they want the team structure, a group to come home to at night but not an exclusive relationship. It best shows the loyalty to shared values and commitment to each other's spirits rather than the ego of self-centered jealousy and ownership of a typical monogamous relationship. "Intentional" extended families, beyond just blood relatives, are created by choice. Connectedness to others by choice may result in more fulfillment than just being born into a family which may have very different emotions and values.

All of these types of relationships work well for different people. Your desired relationship structure may change over time based on your own emotional needs or your connection with others or finding a group you desire.


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Copyright 1997, Liberated Christians, Inc.
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E-MAIL: dave@davephx.com