PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1998-2002 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND WE ARE SENT A COPY OF PUBLICATION.
April 2006 update: New Release of Famous G Spot Book
Dr. Perry's research leading to the modern re-discovery of the Gräfenberg Spot is described in the best-selling book, The G Spot (1982), written with Alice Ladas and Beverly Whipple. The G Spot has now been translated into at least 26 languages; most recently, Chinese in 1995, and Thai in 1997. A second edition was published in Spanish and now in the USA in 2005, $15.00 MSRP, only $10.40 on Amazon.com)
Thanks also for Dr. Perry's E-mail to me addressing some technical errors on this page I have corrected. He also hosts his own website with the latest information on the G-Spot I highly recommend at http://www.drgspot.net/
The G-Spot & Female Ejaculation
The Excitement of Giving Pleasure
By Dave, Liberated Christians
With A Tribute To Sam Preston
Impediments To Intimacy
One major impediment to intimacy between men and women is the speed with which many men become aroused and reach orgasm as opposed to the slower, more leisurely lovemaking women need if they are to have a similar experience. The true lover however will take the time to allow a woman to reach her full sexual pleasure potential. G- spot aware men benefit from the excitement of truly giving emotional as well as maximum physical intimate pleasure to a women.
Few Women Know Their Own Sexual Response
I've had very interesting discussions with retired sex surrogate, Dr. Jerry DeHaan, who shares many experiences as a licensed sex surrogate about inorgasmic women experiencing their first orgasm via his G spot stimulation. DeHaan also shares experiences of women coming to him for counseling (only through a referral from other licensed therapists) who had experienced their G spot or ejaculation but were terrified not knowing that it was a normal part of female sexuality.
Jerry DeHaan as a surrogate took women on a wonderful journey of self-discovery. Women learned about their bodies, the male body and shed ingrained embarrassment and concealment of their physical selves and came instead to find comfort in their natural sexuality. We need more education on meaningful, loving, intimate sexuality in our society rather than our immature tease and titillation. Many women seek much more than just brief thrusting sex. We believe men, through education and open honest discussion, can be empowered to be much more powerful lovers. Caring men would also find the excitement of giving pleasure just as fulfilling as a fast male orgasm.
Ancient cultures accepted what we've only recently "found". As early as the 4th century B.C., writings have been found that speak of the distinction between a woman's "red and white fluid". Even American Indian folklore mentions the "mixing of male and female fluids" from a female during sex.
In the 20th century, however, Western culture moved toward the belief that women were incapable of such intense orgasm, except by clitoral manipulation. This was reinforced by Masters & Johnson whose research claimed that a woman's clitoris was the only source of female pleasure, even though many women have found that to be far from the truth.
This misguided notion of a woman's sexual potential persisted until 1950 when an article by a Berlin gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg discussed the G-spot area. In his original work he reported that some women had a spot on the inside of the front wall of the vagina which, when firmly stimulated produced intense orgasms and in some women ejaculation of something thicker and slicker than urine during the strongest contractions of their orgasms.
No further serious research was done until Perry and Whipple's 1978 documentation and extensive study which confirmed the article of Dr. Grafenberg. Most sexologist now believe every woman has a G-spot but it may simply be unresponsive from lack of stimulation. It can be made to learn to be responsive, however, by proper stimulation.
Whipple, coauthor of The G-Spot , says there are two reasons the "spot" was
overlooked by so many physicians: "First, because it's on the anterior (front) wall
of the vagina, which is an area that's not palpated, and second, when it is palpated you
get a sexual response and doctors are trained not to stimulate their patients sexually.
But the gynecologists who palpated it with our direction all found it and said 'My
goodness! It's there! You're right!' "
Every physician who examined the area not only found it, Whipple claims, but reported back to the researchers that they subsequently found it in every woman they examined!
Two Types Of Orgasm
It is now known women can experience two kinds of orgasm. But they are not clitoral vs. vaginal as some have reported.
1.The most common (some times called clitoral) also involves the vagina since the clitoral stimulation also produces contractions of the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle supporting the pelvic floor which is where "vaginal" contractions are felt.
2. G-spot and Uterine. G-spot stimulation results in orgasmic contractions around the uterus, which is several inches above the pelvic floor.
Later research has shown that women who can orgasm both ways have even deeper, more powerful blended orgasm, resulting from contractions in both areas at once.
One women described the difference this way: " I have two DISTINCTLY different types of orgasm. The G-Spot orgasm tends to result in my vaginal walls contracting and fluid being expelled. The clitoral orgasm can either have fluid expelled or be "dry" but both result in my uterus contracting, not my vaginal walls. And both types can either be whole body or localized. I state all this because it seems as if some posters are implying there is only one kind of orgasm and that it always involves uterine contractions and I'm here to tell you that that is not always true. So good luck in experiencing ALL the kinds of orgasms there are for women!"
Location Of G-spot
The G-spot lies directly behind the pubic bone within the front wall of the vagina. It is usually located about half way between the back of the pubic bone and the front of the cervix, along the course of the urethra and near the neck of the bladder, where it connects with the urethra. The size and exact location vary. Imagine a small clock inside the vagina with 12 o'clock pointed towards the navel. The majority of women will have the G-spot located between 11 and 1 o'clock a few inches inside the vagina.
Unlike the clitoris, which protrudes from the surrounding tissue, it lies deep within the vaginal wall, and a firm pressure is often needed to contact the G spot in its unstimulated state. Usually it is a lima- bean sized, spongy area which responds to stimulation by hardening and swelling as blood rushes to it.
Dave's Experience With Women
First of all let me define a G-spot orgasm the best I can from women that have discussed it with me as well as my readings and research. G-spot simulation usually results in an initial feeling of needing to urinate, which may last a few seconds to 30 sec. This is because the spot is so close to the bladder.
Many women stop the stimulation fearing the urination feeling. BUT, I assure you the feeling will change to a highly sexual pleasurable feeling. The resulting orgasm is much deeper within the body than a clitoral orgasm.
From women who have shared their expereinces with me, there are two common descriptions: either a very, very powerful explosion that keeps on going and going (one woman who is very highly orgasmic told me it was the best she ever had) or less intense but an experience of deep, rolling orgasms.
one case, after about an hour of my massaging her G-spot, as my hand was getting tired, I
moved away to her clit and she wanted me back on her G-spot, saying that while clitoral
stimulation would result in a one time big bang, the ongoing smaller, almost continuous
G-spot orgasms were more enjoyable.
Tools To Find Your G-Spot
A man who knows where to go with his fingers. A G-spot vibrator with a curve to best reach the G-spot. The Sybian machine can provide the maximum stimulation often required to awaken the G-Spot. Or your own fingers can reach it.
Techniques For Stimulating G-Spot
Lie back with your knees pressed up to your chest. In this position, your vaginal depth will shorten and even small fingers should be able to reach the G-spot. With a partner, lie on your side with one leg drawn up to your chest as your partner enters you from the rear. He should be able to hit the spot.
G-spot responds to pressure rather than to touch. Gently stroking is not likely to get any
results. It's more like massaging a pea under a mattress - one has to compress the flesh
to find it.
Insert fingers and bend them gently up, around and behind the pubic bone. Beyond the rather rough-surfaced tissue immediately behind her pubic bone, your fingertips will encounter a very soft, smooth area. Go very slowly and let her tell you what she feels as you explore the smooth area, which will feel to you like the inside of a very slippery mitten. When you straighten your fingers and reach further inside, you'll encounter a hard, rubbery structure that feels like an erect nipple pointing south. This is her cervix. The G-spot is somewhere just his side of the cervix, about an inch beyond the mitten, in the flesh immediately in front of the vagina.
Imagine you're holding a tennis ball on those two of three inserted fingers. An area about the size of a grape in the center of the tennis ball is what you're trying to reach. It can be anywhere along that two-or-three inch long area between the pubic bone and the cervix. Explore slowly, allowing for feedback front he woman - let her guide your fingers with her words if she can feel the stimulation. The G-spot responds to pressure rather than to touch. Gentle stroking is not likely to find it. It's more like massaging a pea under a mattress - one has to compress the flesh to find it.
When you reach in from the front with the woman on her back, the heel of your hand is over her clitoris while your fingers hook around her pubic bone. Pull upwards, as if you're trying to lift her off the bed. Do this with the same sort of rhythm you'd use fucking, and keep your fingers hooked, so they press deep into the tissue. Once you know where it is you can try using your penis on it, but for good G-spot orgasm, she may prefer your hand. In face-to-face intercourse, the penis may not stimulate the spot enough to do any good, although some positions, such as the one where the women draws her knees close to her chest, may increase the changes for a G-spot orgasm.
While all women have a G-spot, it has been estimated between 10% and 40% of women are capable of ejaculation. The G-spot need not be stimulated for ejaculation to occur, but most women say that their first ejaculation experience came from massaging their G-spot. The response varies from a light sprinkle to a huge gush. I have experienced women who gushed huge amounts of fluid 10 feet out.
Researches have found that although many women feel a slight need to urinate right before ejaculation, the fluid is definitely not urine. Nor does it come from the Bartholin gland which produces a milky, odorless secretion that helps lubricate the vagina when sexually aroused.
Today we now know that the difference between women who squirt and those that don't is in the number and size of their pariurethral glands. They are analogous to the hundreds of tiny glands that constitute the male's prostate gland and are responsible for 15% to 50% of the fluid a man ejaculates.
myths that female ejaculation is the result of poor bladder control, or excess secretion
which sweats from the vaginal walls and pools in the back of the vagina to squirt out
during the strong muscle contractions of orgasm, have been proven wrong. For decades many
women felt it dreadfully abnormal and tried to hide or avoid it. Physicians in their
ignorance tried to cure it. By questioning many women, researchers have established that
about one woman in five ejaculates (through her urethra rather than her vagina), some of
the time but not always. The stimulation of the G-spot produces both her ejaculation and
her deep uterine contractions.
Besides the famous study of Whipple and Perry of Dr. Ernest Grafenberg's 1950 article about the spot, in Nova Scotia researcher Ed Belzer explored the chemical composition of female ejaculate. In Florida Helen Robinson and Sharon Pietranton worked with groups of ejaculating women. At first American gynecologists, routinely trained not to sexually stimulate their patients, were astonished that Dr. Grafenberg was on such sensual terms with his. Generations of gynecologists have tied to cope with "hypersecretors" blaming it on poor bladder control.
"Women's response to direct stimulation of the G-spot is identical to the response of males when their prostate is stimulated," Perry and Whipple observed. The first few seconds of stimulation produces a strong feeling that they have to urinate. This feeling lasts for two to ten seconds, maybe longer, before changing to a distinctly sexual enjoyment. Whipple felt that most women when faced with this sensation hold back their sexual response to keep from wetting on their partners. Perry theorized that this may explain why up to 25% of American females never have orgasms - they've learned early that to avoid the embarrassment of urinating during sex, they have to hold back.
Women with well-toned PC muscles are more likely to ejaculate and generally have better orgasms. Many women ejaculate easier after they’ve “primed the pump” with a few orgasms, others come on their first one. The common theme seems to be extreme arousal and direct G-spot and clitoral stimulation for an extended time.
It is common for writers of porn films and erotic books to make it appear that male
ejaculations "shoot" or "spurt". But Kinsey's observations of hundreds
of male ejaculators showed that in about 75% of men the semen merely exudes from the
meatus or is propelled with so little force that the liquid is not carried more than a
very small distance beyond the tip of the penis. In short, most males ooze rather than
shoot. Their semen doesn't spurt, it dribbles out.
Similarly, if a woman expels fluid other than urine from her urethra, she shouldn't have to make it squirt for it to qualify as ejaculation. The fact that many women don't notice it since its not a powerful squirt contributes to the underreporting of female ejaculation. Other women, including one of my (Dave's) partners, very strongly squirt large amounts of fluid while having powerful G-spot orgasms.
Helen Robinson reported that one of her research subjects was highly orgasmic and continued to ejaculate copiously with each orgasm and would ejaculate a quart of fluid in one session. A teaspoon of fluid is the more common amount, but a cupful is not uncommon.
At Dalhousie University professor Ed Belzer found varying concentrations of acid phosphatase in the women's ejaculate. This chemical had previously been thought to be produced only by males, and in some courtrooms was accepted as evidence to support a rape charge. Belzer's discovery proved that it wasn't urine and also pointed out the existence of a genuine female prostate-like gland.
Not only are the fluids they produce chemically similar, the female prostate acts like the male prostate: when rhythmically prodded, it swells up and then discharges fluid through the urethra. To reach a male's prostate gland, you have to reach in through his anus. In the female, you reach in - at virtually the same angle - through her vagina.
There has been debate whether the ejaculation originate from the bladder or from the urethral glands and ducts. Both may be the case in that a small amount of fluid may be released from the urethral glands and ducts in some instances and mixed in the urethra with a clear fluid that originates in the bladder.
Tests have been done where the bladder is drained of urine before the sexual stimualation and resulting ejaculation. Even though their bladders had been drained, they still expelled from 50 ml to 900 ml of fluid through the tube and into the catheter bag. The only reasonable conclusion would be that the fluid came from a combination of residual moisture in the walls of the bladder and from post draining kidney output.
Regardless, a number of tests have chemical analysis have been done on the fluid. Exactly what it is, isn't known but there is a consistency of results that show a greatly reduced concentration of the two primary components of urine, urea and creatinine, in the expelled fluid.
As Unv of So Calf tests showed the results were clearly "out of the range" to be defined as urine.
But women's sexuality still remains a mystery (as women do in other ways ... as the exact source and exactly what the fluid is remains natures secret.
Male and Female Sex Organs Have Common Origin
An anatomy lesson may help understand why ejaculation is not as far fetched as it may seem. There really is not that much difference between male and female sex organs. In-vitro we all start out as female. If we get certain chemicals our development changes to male and our female organs dry up and we develop male.
Have you ever wondered what that line was on the back side of a penis? Or, have you ever looked? It is the remnants of a man's vagina when he was a female early in gestation. Likewise the very sensitive spot on the back of a mans penis, where the foreskin attaches is the remnants of the female clitoris.
Sexual development in the womb it is not always perfect. The most extreme problem is those whose gender does not match their sex organs (transsexuals). Since male and female are so similar, surgery can reassign one's sex to match gender. Yes, it is done all the time, both male to female and less frequently female to male.
The same but much less dramatic natural event seems to occur in some women in which they develop small prostate like glands that are capable or producing ejaculation. Lab tests show the female ejac is very similar in composition to the prostate fluid within the male ejac (semen which comes from prostate mixed with sperm etc), but without the sperm in a female.
Fluids reported as being present in female
ejaculate. Information and links to sites re: female urethral ejaculation.
1. - http://www.incontinet.com/skenesgland.htm - good for anyone curious enough to want to see what Skene’s Glands look like and where they are located. Significant, is the fact that these glands open not only to the exterior but several ducts open directly inside the urethra and into the upper vaginal wall as well.
2. - http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm - very good site with the most information, lots of diagrams, including “how to find the "G" spot. “In some cases, all of the fluid emitted from a woman's urethra is ejaculate. In other cases, the liquid is likely a mixture of ejaculate and urine, or only urine. There has not been sufficient research done to clarify exactly what the fluid is, in every instance.”
3. - http://www.doctorg.com/FemaleEjaculation.htm - very good article on female ejaculation (urethral) with a report on an experiment in which women known to be ejaculators were tested using catheterization to determine where the fluids expelled actually came from, one woman actually producing 900ml. of ejaculate. The conclusion was that the fluid expelled was principally from the bladder but was significantly different from urine collected before orgasm.
4. - http://www.drgspot.net/cabello.htm - indicated that the urethral glands are homologues of the male prostate that most women expel such fluids in amounts from so small as to be unnoticeable to them, up to 50 ml., and and that most of the fluid ejaculated is urine.
- “The urine emitted after the orgasm carries the product of the "female prostate" on its way through the urethra.”
- “In 75% of the postorgasmic urine samples, we detected PSA.” “The obtained data seems to confirm our hypothesis that at least most women (75% of our sample), produce a certain amount of PSA during orgasm, that can only come from the urethral and paraurethral glands (female prostate).“
- “Summarizing our position, we believe that all women ejaculate, that is, produce more or less quantity of secretion of the urethral and paraurethral glands and Skene's ducts and expel it outwards or inwards, towards the bladder, with the orgasmic contractions.”
5. - http://members.tripod.com/MrBulky/gspot.htm - a lot of info on the “G” spot but scroll down near the end and in "THIRD ARTICLE” there’s more about ejaculation, where it was noted that the ejaculate definitely came from the urethra.
“Orgasmic expulsions occurred after less than a minute of stimulation; they were separated in a multi- orgasmic series by similarly brief periods of time. The urethral area was clearly exposed in bright light, and there was absolutely no doubt that the liquid was expelled from the urethral meatus. Sometimes it exuded from the meatus. At other times it was expelled from one to a few centimetres. On one observer occasion, expulsion was of sufficient force to create a series of wet spots covering a distance of more than a meter.”
6. - http://www-personal.une.edu.au/~gob...mic_Gushing.htm - discusses the different fluids expelled during orgasm and attempts to differentiate between lubricants, ejaculation and gushing
7. http://www.annies-female-ejaculation.com/ - good general info from the female perspective.
“When female ejaculation occurs, the consensus is that it comes from the urethra and not the vagina.”
8. - http://incontinet.com/articles/art_sex/candgos.htm - Effects of Clitoral and GSpot Stimulation on Pelvic Muscles - pretty technical stuff, but a good way to see the differences in intensity between clitoral and “G” spot orgasms by electromyographic recordings. Also a few links to other pages of Kegel info.
"Your article was helpful and interesting. I am one of the women who does ejaculate upon orgasm....when I first discovered this, I thought I had a bladder problem. My ob-gyn assured me that it was not my bladder but ejaculatory fluid. When I discovered my G spot, it opened a whole new world for me sexually, and my sexuality took on a whole new meaning.... Again, thank you for your information."
"We've enjoyed receiving and reading the newsletters tremendously this summer. The bits about a gal's "G" spot have been absolutely fantastic. We've read about it and ..... (husband) has been trying to find mine or over 20 years! Dave, the article in the last issue did it. He has been on the correct spot all these years, but has been giving it the same "light touch" that he uses on my clitoris. Gad, since receiving the newsletter, (husband) has been massaging my "G" very firmly and has me popping my cookies repeatedly for 30 or 40 minutes every night. I'm multi-orgasmic with clitoris stimulation, but "Katy Bar the Door" - nothing like those "G" spot highs. Getting me so turned on with my "G" has done wonders for (husband). He is servicing me like some 20 year old Gigolo. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,"
Some Women Experience PAIN With G spot Stimulation
From a public post on alt.sex.wizards:
I am very involved in support group activity with two groups trying to meet the very profound needs of people with a painful syndrome called Interstitial Cystitis and it's "sister" Vulvodynia (an elegant Greek word for vulvar pain).
Both conditions have a rather full spectrum of symptoms but both also are very often manifested by something called "urethral syndrome". It is a "waste basket" diagnosis in some medical textbooks and far too often women have been told they are in pain there mostly because they are essentially neurotic or have something like Munchausen's Syndrome. FINALLY, a paper was published this last May '96 in the Journal of Western Medicine suggesting that the female Urethral Syndrome is really a case of your garden variety prostatitis for women. The paraurethral glands that surround the urethra are positioned just posterior and on both sides of the urethra and the first symptomatic clue the authors (Dr. Ruben Gittes -- a BIG name in urologic research, and Dr. Robert M. Nakemure) a health provider should twick to is pain on the anterior wall of the vagina. BTW, these glands are known or certainly broadly suspected to "ejaculate" upon orgasm and function as mild lubricators for the urethra at all other times. They can be measured for PSA just like those fairly new tests conducted on men to evaluate for cancer. In time, if these glands stay infected for a long time by as yet undetermined bugs (culturing is apparently difficult), they can get clogged up and chronically inflamed causing much pain in the whole pudendal area.
On the other hand, in a healthy women, they in all likelihood are part of the pleasurable response similarly noted by men in the region of their own prostates -- hence the "G" spot. It's there, it exists and yes, talk to your partner and see if it works for her. If she has pain there, by all means she should get to a physician and have this other thing evaluated. Be mindful that she/he might not be familiar with it and fall back on the old "neurotic" diagnosis.
Another Women Describes PLEASURE From Ejaculation
From a discussion on Society for Human Sexuality mailing list on Female Ejaculation:
For me, the orgasms that I ejaculate with are always more intense, and almost an altered state. And as seems to be the case with (other women) , it is also true for me that it takes a long time, but for me it usually takes several orgasms to build up to it and it is always (to date anyway) associated with a g-spot orgasm. Or I should say a series of them, or even coming to the peak several times first and then coming, and then by about the third (?) time actually coming it will be this amazingly wonderful orgasm.
Another women said:
One women was an "occasional ejaculator". She's the best reason I have to believe that the ejaculate is not simply urine. The times when she would noticeably ejaculate were after long periods of heightened arousal without orgasm. Most of the time she would cum quickly and frequently, but once in a while we would both delight in having me torment her orally, digitally and sometimes with fisting as well. If she could hold off for long enough (45 minutes or more) she would have an incredibly intense orgasm accompanied by ejaculation. The fluid issued was watery, but thicker than urine and had very little similarity in smell and taste to urine (shrugs).
Another website with great sexual information on the G spot and
The G Zone-Insightful articles, tools & toys for satisfying sexual relationships from Dr. Gary Schubach, sex educator and authority in the area of the Grafenberg spot and female ejaculation.
A Tribute To Sam And His Ability to Love
Computer Board Discussion on the G spot years ago
With A Tragic and Sad Ending
From "Aspen" (Reprinted with permission):
"The g spot within a woman is most definitely the highest experience, the most sensual and reactive spot! My friend...best friend....and lover...shared with me the knowledge...and then shared the experience...and I FLY with it...to it and beyond it!! To try and define the feel is impossible...I had a crude and rude sexual relationship with past husband...never knowing orgasm, only force/rape/pillage.. that was it. After 12 years of celibacy I met HIM (Sam). My love's ex's have even asked him to hold seminars for their current lovers on the g spot. For once knowing..it will be sorely missed.
I have talked with, in human sexuality classes, may women who know it. And sadly no men, until my love....it is a secret spot...awaiting discovery. It is physically there and will take your lady higher than you can imagine and you as well...for the flight is fun to watch, so I am repeatedly told."
From CBSI (male):
"I think, one time I located this spot and it was unnerving what it did to my partner. It took her to new heights and she refused to admit she could obtain. She liked to hate sex. She also was afraid to let go. However, she could not hide her elation and total satisfaction."
After Dave explained the anatomy of the G-spot: "Thank you for your information. You shared more effectively than I could have, academically that the G- spot exists. Since I posted the first note, I have talked with 14 women...all have experienced it...know it...and want it as part of their sexual experience...for the men they share sex with, many are unaware of even the name...think it is a silly woman word...one even told a lady that she was attempting to control him with nonsense...go figure! Of the 14 women who knew/experienced the G...5 are aware and therefore, their lovemaking, making love, is enhanced and of a level beyond what the men or women had known before.
Personally, the sensation is beyond...it is over and under and above and below and in and out and on and on...the issue of ejaculation...is a reality...I know this personally...my first experience with it...a kind and gentle, explaining, forewarning, and a gentle holding...me a 40 year old novice in many things..he gently took me there..it was the most overpowering, overwhelming feeling...and it filled...me..my heart, soul, body..i was boiling..hot..HOT and so aware. I felt..as I felt the dust of Selma, the tease of apple orchards, saw the twinkle of stars on a calm sea, heard the call of vikings, and the battle cry of Geronimo..all in a moment..that lasted beyond a lifetime..the explosion is like standing on top of the Sears tower and never touching the elevator button..it is seeing yourself in his smile, his eyes, as they cheer you to the finish line...It is HOT..it is WET..as wet as an unexpected monsoon, as wet as the underside of a lily's leaf, as wet as the happy tears that I shed during and after each wonderful experience. It is a child's smile and a pinch of tush...an irate teacher hiding a smile for the impish child..it is sex..raw..and heated..it is sex..calm and loving...it is sex...shared and sharing..it is the thrill of a lifetime, each time...everytime..it goes higher each time..each time different..but each time the same...it is the growl of an angry bear and the purr of a tiny kitten..it is all these things and more...it is the G spot..believe it, find it, share it, value it and enjoy..."
1/4/94After more discussion of technique etc, Aspen writes:
"In my experience with Sam...we have never approached lovemaking and makinglove as a 'lets do it'...there is tenderness in touch and words..we never 'go for the G' in beginning...and sometimes not at all...other areas of sensitive reactions/sharings may exclude the G or may enhance it...the G is inclusive of the HOT of the moment..which, many times, lasts for over 24 hours..yes...I am smiling..and so is he! That 24 hours is inclusive of pauses..pauses to talk..to kiss...softly, kiss hard and deeply, pauses to trace fingers lightly across eyelids, hairline, back, and legs..pauses to gaze lazillly and/or intently into the other's eyes... pauses to chat..different from talking..giggles and tickles and sillys...you do not lose the power of the HOT..you enhance it..perfect it in sharing all the pauses..to trace gently the lubie..on and in..pause to inhale the other...oral...is wonderful...Castles Boutique has a great selection of treasurers...for both partners pause...enjoy...share...taste, and smile...know yourself in knowing each other..know the other in the strength of knowing yourself...
You ask for technique..in my mind and in the heart I gave to Sam, this is the technique...the magic...the G is magic, but so are you...if you will relax and stroll...stroll in the spirit of the experience.
Smiles to you and all others reading this...I love the sharing and the level of the conversation...it is an important topic...for males and females today. Today I shared all this discussion with hardcopy with Sam..he was touched and agreed it is a lovely topic..a wonderful way of sharing and caring...for what our US is..and what yours can be."
From Aspen To Kona asking questions:
The G...to reach, in my case, is not reached by the penis, but by his hand/finger...it is the touch that is fire..and the gentle massaging of the G builds to excitement and release beyond explanation...in my case, Sam says I am more sensitive on the left...of the G...which he explained as being similar to a grape, but grainy, pebbly.
Size? as you mentioned..the first inch to inch and a half are the most sensitive and exciting area of the vagina, so size matters not, knowledge, tenderness, sharing and caring are the ingredients for wondrous loving and climax...the myth that size counts...is a myth...and discounted by most who know and enjoy true sexual sharing. If size did matter, then I would again be fortunate...but when thinking of Sam..I think of his laffs, his touch, his amazing mind, and his body..as a whole...not as parts of a whole."
The Sad Tragic Ending To Aspen's Wonderful Sharing.
On March 4, 1994 tragically Sam suffered a massive heart attack while doing what he was best at - sharing loving, exciting intimacy. Aspen stayed by his side during the valiant three-week struggle that followed his heart attack.
May what Sam and Aspen shared benefit others in realizing the joy of sharing and learning wonderful tender loving intimacy combined with maximum physical sexual pleasure and as a reminder that we need to value each day, each hour and each relationship as well as to share meaningful ideas with others.
Aspen's love did not stop with Sam's death. She feels that responsibility to share it even more with others in a way she could have never done without knowing Sam.
From Aspen 3/14/94 on sexuality:
'To speak openly and comfortably about his topic, I think both men and women must be completely comfortable with their own sexuality...to approach the topic as just one more facet of life...a real and important part, a part that includes, not excludes humor and vulnerabilities..is one of the keys to open conversation. Before I experienced the beauty and the dark of love and loving, I felt little inclination to share my thots...indeed...I suppressed those thots. After knowing complete love..the laffs and the tears..I grew in my comfort and understanding of my 'self'...inclusive of desire, lust, and the ability to love and understand beyond myself.
Women...have experienced much deceit and manipulation in conversations and the sharing of private thots. The result is a pessimism that leads to little, often NO interaction with males...While men and women both experience this, men seem to be more resilient in the comeback. To know one's sexuality lends a sureness and ability to openly discuss these topics...not to titillate but to keep the 'invigorate' of life."
From Aspen 12/29/94 private E-mail To Dave published with permission:
(in response to me suggesting I'd publish her story and delicately asking about Sam's attack)
"A year ago today my son and I were spending the day with Sam. It was a special time, full of fun and those wonderfully knowing looks exchanged as the expectation of an evening alone built into a passion soon realized. I smile, and want to cry, but the smile and the warmth of what we shared pushes the smile forward and I giggle, remembering the popsicles and fudge covered banana...wonderful toys for hearty appetites!
The article idea sounds wonderful! Please share whatever I shared in public..or in private messages to you. I am PROUD! and if I can warm even one moment for someone else, then they will have known the magic of Sam.
Yes, Sam and I began a wonderful morning of love, after a few short hours of rest...we took a break for coffee and sweetrolls; in the kitchen, touches led to a sly me leaving the room, only to crawl in and under... a kiss, surprised, he stood still, my mouth loving his penis...he was spreading icing on a roll...food forgotten we returned to the bedroom...after several hours, he pulled back from orally loving me, and something felt odd...gray, huge drops of perspiration....911, fireman, a flurry of activity...his eyes still holding that special twinkle as he responded to each query...'we were making love!' 20 days later, he died..but he has never left me. I hold his joy in all of me...and they toys we shared keep him close to me nightly. Smiles!" Aspen
Summary and Lesson For All
Pardon the long story...but it says much about the motivation to reach out and share and help others experience love and life to the fullest which is the motivation behind Liberated Christians. Dave
From Dave's E-mail from a
Thank you Aspen and Sam
I read the article you posted about Aspen and Sam, and I will remember the story for the rest of my life. I think the text should be included in sex education classses. It is an important lesson.
I am a 40yr old divorcee who has been struggling for the past 3 years to free my repressed soul and personality. I have come a very long way, but only recently came to the realization that I cannot complete my journey without learning to be comfortable with my own sexuality. It is something a man I dated told me a long time ago, but I wasn't ready to understand or even consider the subject at the time.
I thought a lot about the subject, examined my inhibitions and experiences. As this was happening, I connected with a man via myspace.com, using yahoo messenger. He was very outgoing and direct regarding the subject of sex and masturbation. At first, I was taken aback but steeled myself to press on, answer his questions in support of my quest for enlightenment, as a means to begin practicing my theory. I was truthful and honest, and then I began to take charge of the conversations with direct questions of my own.
In one session, TL asked about my g-spot and I thought it was clitoris. He explained more about it and I decided to research the subject. I did a google search and your article was the first thing I read.
As my acceptance of my own sexuality and desires began to grow, I imagined how I would handle my next dating experience, what I wanted. The union of body, mind and soul, the complete intimacy that Aspen and Sam shared is EXACTLY how I imagined it.
I wrote, refined and finally posted a Match.com profile, trying to be explicit as I could about what I am looking for. I have been chatting via IM or on the phone with a man this week, and we will be meeting tonight for the first time. He will be the first man to meet the new me and I am looking forward to the experience of getting to know him on my terms. It is up to me to set the expectations about who I am, and I am excited about painting a new picture of myself the world has never seen. I sincerely hope that we connect as much in person, so it will continue toward physical intimacy...something I do not intend to rush, but to savor each moment between now and then.
This is the first time I will be meeting a man with SEX as one of my goals. Someone once told me that men trade love for sex and women trade sex for love, and I think that is exactly what is wrong with today's relationships. If either party approaches a relationship in that manner, eventually it is going to fail. Everyone wants sex. Most women do not admit that to themselves or anyone else, and look down on men because they do. So people start straying from who they are to become what they believe the other is looking for...so they can get to the sex part.
So again, I want to thank you for posting that story. It has truly lifted me and confirmed that I have finally found the right road.
Update after asking permission to share her story:
I would be very honored for you to include my words.
Update...My date went very well last night. There is attraction on all levels, and I am looking forward to our next meeting. Anticipating
"the right moment" for my "Exporation in Intimacy". I think I will keep a journal and perhaps write an article somewhere down the line.
Return To Section Contents Page
Back To Home Page
Copyright © 1998-2006, Liberated Christians, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.