Cyber Swing/Polyamory Resource Center
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
Testimonial About Childhood Sexuality Teaching
From a bisexual man
Warning only for mature readers that are open minded to hear the truth vs what they have been indoctrinated to what is proper. In biblical times most "boys" were married by age 13 based on a family financial deal. Obviously due to the legal issues we can't encourage this and Bill and Dave of LIberated Christians have absolutely no interest in under aged sexuality. But many more "mature" cultures historically have had far more positive views of sex education for children based on love and teaching good sexual skills. In today's culture there are too many that would take advantage of younger people sadly but positive sex education is not some horrible thing as many Christians would argue.
I am always encouraged when I have time to visit the Liberated Christians web site. I sooooo wholeheartedly agree that our sexuality is God given, God inspired and God ordained. Our spirituality and our sexuality should always compliment one another. I would like to share some sexual childhood experiences that support the research you share on your web site about childhood sexuality. And in doing so, I honor my mother. I give her the credit for instilling in me a healthy, open minded attitude about sex and my sexuality. Altho she did not go so far as to show me how to masturbate, she did encourage me at 9 years old to touch myself and stroke my penis in the privacy of my bedroom. She supplied appropriate reading material (Playboy...and later, books like Lady Chatterly's Lover) to help arouse my body, my sexual imagery and imagination. She told me what would happen during orgasm and what semen looked like, so I wouldn't be shocked, or think my dick was broken because I was releasing fluid other than urine. I quickly mastered masturbation and never had a wet dream. I never let enough sperm backup to need to be released during sleep. My mother was a Christian woman who loved the Lord. She explained that sex and orgasm was a wonderful gift from God, and that a powerful orgasm could be a "spiritual" experience.
My cousin Kevin and I were both 11, when he came to visit for the summer. We naturally worked our way around to experimenting sexually with each other (touching, stroking, sucking, mutual masturbation). My mother knew what we were doing in my bedroom with the door locked, but, God bless her, she never once bothered us, or scolded us for doing what we were doing. I never viewed my sexuality as something dirty, or something to be ashamed of.
My jr high school music teacher was a wonderful man who was loved and admired by all his students. He showed extra attention to me and allowed me to take over the class on occasion. One evening after a choir concert, he offered to drive me home. Halfway to my house, he put his hand on my thigh. I knew at that point that the special attention I was receiving from him was motivated by more than just his appreciation for my musical talent.
I was 13 at the time, and besides my cousin Kevin, I had had one other encounter with a school friend that lead to sexual exploration, mutual masturbation and oral sex to orgasm. So, I definitely knew what my teacher wanted. And young brave soul that I was, I took his hand and placed it between my legs, because I wanted it too. We found a secluded place to park, and proceeded to kiss each other, fondle each other, and finally suck each other. From there we would steal moments during school in a backstage dressing room to have oral sex. When my teacher suggested that I visit his home so we could be alone in his bed, I told him I would have to ask my mom if it was okay.
Well, he flipped and was beside himself, but I assured him that Mom already knew that we were having oral sex with each other, and I was sure she would approve. The next day I had him drive me home, and I invited him into the house to discuss the matter with Mom. My teacher was so nervous, but I was calm, cool and collected. She asked him a lot of questions, mostly concerning my welfare and wellbeing, wanting to hear from him that it was a consentual relationship, and that her son was not being forced to do anything against his will. We all laughed and hugged at the end of our talk, and as he left, Mom said, "I want you to be sure & take good care of my son." Little did I know at the time just how good he would take care of me.
That next Saturday he came by early to pick me up. We spent the day together at the beach and the park, and then went to his place. I spent the rest of the weekend in his bed learning all about same sex intimacy. I was thrilled to be taken my such a loving, caring adult. I never felt used or dirty, or ashamed about being naked and intimate with an adult male at the tender age of 13. I doubt my little boy dick felt as good inside him as his big adult dick felt inside of me. It was an incredible adventure/experience for a young boy. We maintained our sexual relationship for that school year. He moved after that and I never saw him again. Being introduced to adult/child sex was an incredible experience for me. It certainly added to the quality of my life.
In my first year in high school I had a girlfriend. Mom knew we were getting serious, so she sat me down and instructed me on the proper way to put on a condom. I was embarrassed to have my underwear down around my ankles, sporting a hard-on in front of my Mom, but even more embarrassed (damaging to my ego) to have to be shown by my Mother how to properly place a condom on my erect penis, so it would be less likely to slip off during sex. Nevertheless, her instruction was worth the embarrassment.
That was how open minded and matter of fact Mom was with me when it came to sex. God bless her, she encouraged me to bring my girlfriend home to have sex, rather than parking somewhere in the dark and having sex in my VW Beetle. It was so LIBERATING to be fucking my girlfriend in my bedroom, knowing that Mom could hear us moaning and talking dirty and crying out during orgasm. I knew she could hear us because she would comment as we came downstairs, "Well, it sounds like you two were enjoying each other." She has since passed on. Needless to say, I have grown up to be a very well adjusted bisexual Christian.
Yes, you have my permission to use my story to further challenge others to see the wonder and the beauty and joy of our sexuality, a wonderful and special gift from God. It is not something to be ashamed of, no matter the age we come to embrace it. I do appreciate you respecting my privacy. Not that I have anything to hide, but a personal story/testimony of this nature is best served without putting anyone at risk of reprisal or ridicule or rebuke by those who do not have the insight or the understanding to take to heart the salient point of the story.
I do credit my mother for bringing up her son with a healthy and open attitude toward sex, and I credit the Lord for giving me the discernment to see my youthful sexual experiences as training and preparation for my adult sexual relationships. God promised those who believe in Him an ABUNDANT life, and told us that the truth shall set us free. But so many Christians forget to include God in their sex life, as tho sex is something dirty, and God and all things spiritual are to be left out of the bedroom.
I have often wondered how well received a seminar on the abundant sexual freedom promised by God would go over in the mainstream church community? Christians think about sex as often as any other group of people, but Heaven forbid they should admit it to themselves or anyone else. They fantasize about multiple partners, or bisexual sex or sex with young people, but Heaven forbid they should admit it to themselves.
The mainstream churches would do well to propose that every member of their congregation read every page of your informative, insightful, engaging, and factual web site. I am a living, breathing example of the positive experience and the spiritual and sexual blessings received by engaging at the age of thirteen in an intimate relationship with an adult. (and moreover, with my mother's approval) I do not know of any other mother open and honest and frank enough to physically teach her son the proper way to wear a condom. I guess she could have used a banana, but what I gained from that embarrassing lesson has stayed with me all my life. I have never, ever thought of engaging in sexual intimacy without first putting on protection. Anyway, thanks again. I am sooooooo glad you are out there
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