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Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
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From Fall 1996 Newsletter
Fellowship Group News
"Loving More" Reflections on Last Intro Group
I thought I'd share an open letter just sent to the 37 people that attended the latest Liberated Christians intro meeting with its emphasis on "Loving More." Obviously we would never identify any sources of the comments since we respect privacy. But we quote anonymously in our newsletter, etc., where comments might help others.
September 18, 1996
Dear Intro Friends,
I thought I'd share with you some reflections and observations gleaned
from the Intro we experienced together last Saturday evening.
---A little girl's story: A woman shared a story written by her 10-year-old
about falling in love with five young men, not being able to choose one among them,
so deciding that she should marry them all!
---Touching without shame: Another woman shared her unusual experience
of being inadvertently seen naked in her back yard by a male neighbor, who said
he had never seen his wife completely naked. He asked if he could touch her breasts,
which she gladly allowed. It was a tender and respectful moment, but one, she said,
whose energy could not be carried forward because of the wife.
---A love observed: I was privileged to notice throughout the evening
the warm and tender looks a partner frequently gave his wife, especially when he
saw her nod her head in understanding at something Dave or I said about love and
open relationships, especially when she shared how he had helped her open up about
---A couple's disappointment and hope: One couple expressed the discouragement
of attending a former church and feeling that the people were harsh and critical
with one another, focusing on rules and demands, rather than love. They had never
expected to find the openness among Christians, especially regarding sexuality,
that they found in this group.
---A conversation overheard: Among the buzz of many conversations
after the session, a small scrap of one particularly caught my attention. A woman
was telling several others how Jesus came to teach us to love one another.
What themes seem to run through all of these examples and were expressed
by others during our evening together?
I think, first, there is the theme of LOVE--how we ought to love one
another as God loves us; how we should be set free to love MORE AND MORE and, certainly,
more than one person in deeply intimate ways.
It is also the theme of love DENIED. In terms of our sexuality in
particular, culture and religion create almost impenetrable barriers to the fulfillment
of our sexual potential in loving others. There is the barrier of FEAR: we are afraid
to express that love to those to whom we are attracted--the possibility of rejection
overwhelms us because the other person may not be able to accept our breaking of
the rules. There is the barrier of the GOD of traditional religion, whom we have
IMAGINED wishes to restrict our loving, rather than expand it.
There is the theme of TRUST. I saw trust DISPLAYED in the eyes of
the woman whose husband loved her enough to gently urge her to open up to more love.
I also sensed trust LONGED FOR in the expressions of so many who wanted to love
more and wanted to find lovers whom they could trust with their deepest thoughts
What is the point of all that I have said? Yes, Dave and I spoke of
all these things in our presentation, but it was YOUR hearts that responded in the
snapshots I have shared. It is you whose hearts hold both the potential and the
longing for LOVING MORE.
This is what we hope we can say to you with confidence and commitment:
Welcome to a place where love already alive can grow.
Welcome to a place where new loves can be born.
Sincerely, for Liberated Christians,
When we shared this on the Loving More E-mail
list we received this response:
"Wow...Thank you for sharing your Liberated Christians meeting summary with the lovelist. You have put a whole new twist on my view of the Christian religion. It seemed that the religion was created just to tell us that sex is bad. All of my life I have rejected their rules and judgementalism. I did understand that I was really opposed to how those around me interpreted the bible more than what the bible actually said, but your positive loving view of Christianity makes it more than palatable for this left wing crusader. Now I can enjoy the Christmas seasons with all the gusto I have within me and not fear that I am not worthy of being a part of their church because of my sexuality applaud you for taking such a unique posture. It would be fun to listed to some of your conversations with the right wing fundamental Christians... Unfortunately the whole family values movement is a movement of isolationism. People are more and more fearful of each other. I believe that communities are the answer ...not just family"
Note: We agree with all these good comments.
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